So I did

One day it was different.

He said, "can I call you sometime?" And I said okay.
He asked me if I wanted to go for a drink,
so I did.

Then it was a dinner, then three dinners, then thirty
and a drive on a summer night with a ladybug inside the car
"those are good luck!" he said.
I like the idea of believing in omens,
so I did.

Then the seasons changed
and snow fell and the year was ending
and he asked if I wanted to go to Mexico where we
would be warm and drink margaritas and
walk on the beach.
So I did.

And one night under the stars in the warm month of December
on the mexican beach, he brought up children
and I asked him, "do you see yourself getting married to me?"
and he did.

So I looked for a wedding dress and bought the first one
I tried on that fit like a glove
and flew to Las Vegas and stood with him in a chapel
and when the man marrying us asked me if I do,
I said I did.

Tattoo

Tattoo

I accidentally saw a picture of you today.

I say accidentally because I wasn't searching for you...

per say.

I just happened to be checking on someone who is linked to you

Just like I've been in denial of doing nearly daily for the past five months

And wouldn't you know it, there were two.

You've always had a habit of sneaking up on me

and causing an involuntary reaction.

You looked so different.

Younger, put together, the messy romance scraped off

but the thing that really took my breath away...

was that you looked...happy.

You wear New York well.

It was transformative.

I recognized it immediately as being the thing

always missing from our photos.

It seemed like a lost lifetime ago.

The thought of us.  Of a used to be you and me.

I only knew it was real because I know that on your ribcage

on your left side

under that suit is a tattoo.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

The size and shape and placement

on your skin.

Your skin.  The texture.  The color.

How they’d change.

The bumps, the imperfections, the smell I hope I never forget.

What beauty.  What staggering fucking beauty.

That secret reminder on your left side.  

Or...was it the right?