Here we go

here we go.  one year later.

one year suspended. in the air. in clouds.

one year wiser but still not accepting

learning to at last describe myself

in a sensitive, masochistic sort of way.

destined for disruption, 

for struggle,

for intimacy.

for a constant subconscious spirit 

screaming in my ear.

wondering how it works when what you want

just isn't in the plan.

forgetting normalcy.

forgetting quiet.

never calm.

my path's a firey one.

the ground doesn't shake anymore.

i feel firmly planted.

but maybe now the sky shifts.

still a slave to something greater,

but waiting to know what it is.

hearing what my heart and spirit will never have,

and wondering what part's next...

2003